Today marks the end of our journey in Trinity College foundation studies. Basically, I've cooped up in my room to munch on this book (As my exams are approaching soon but yeah, restful increase), have skipped my last HOI tutorial.
I am determined to compose a post that kind of summarizes my studies here (Journey/life/thoughts/revelations/experiences) but the existence of my privacy or secrecy or whatsoever will still prevail, I bet I might tear a bit when nostalgias pop up in my head. Because it has been an eight-month. To say that it's short, it isn't. To assume that it's long, it isn't, too. Oh the irony of life.
On a side note, haven't you realized I have not been posting massive photos here? A revelation that some people (Not all) read blogs just because they wanna check out the photos and see what a good life bloggers are leading struck my heart. Perhaps, because of this, I have lost a few hundreds of views (In which I don't really bother) but yeah, this shows the futility of blogging.
So firstly, I have to apologize for this blogpost will only contain one photo which is the Macbeth one ha ha :p
I blog because I love to, not because I need to. For sure, deep down I know that there are still some faithful humans who read every bits and pieces of my posts. I treasure your love and supports *Bows*.
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Trinity College - A college that I have developed a love-hate relationship with. In the first place I was dreadful of it because of my fear of developing homesickness and missing my home church. I seriously don't find studies as important as life itself (Okay, even now my thinking still hasn't changed much)
Yet, Abba has been so faithful and amazing.
-Sentimental music playing at the background triggers my tears, I am now on the verge of crying...-
He first placed me in a lovely hostel filled with lovely people (Not all but yeah). I was casted out of my comfort zone but yet here in Melbourne, I have found another comfort zone although at times, I would still sense awkwardness in the midst of interactions with certain people. But as time went on, I totally realized that... some people are just bad at socializing or they don't give a shit so like what Bao Ying and Chentel said, 'we don't always have to be the initiator of a conversation, sometimes being silent can be an ultimate appropriate action.'
The guardians, kitchen uncles, cleaning workers aren't that terrible as what some people say. A fact about their stinginess could not be denied though. But, to be honest, I have received much favor from all of them. Uncle Daniel (Not Daniel Chowder) would always have some quaint conversations with me, and he is the one who gives me more grapes, more food, and more benefits from the kitchen.
Uncle Andrew, although he always acts cool, always ignores our requests. Based on my previous experiences, whenever I asked for an assistance from him, he would give that 'whatever-you-tell-me-to-do-i-am-not-gonna-do-it' face, but right after that, he would walk away and accomplish my requests (If it's a realistic one). This thing of him I am genuinely grateful of. And when we surprised him during his birthday (Although it was not a total success), he grabbed me to take a photo with him and he said, 'Xiao hai zi, come take photo' with his classic grin. A photo was taken, my heart felt something, as if it was saying, 'Why among all the boarders, he chose you but not others?' That's a definite favor this I aware of. And how he loves to make fun of me and my rice (Because I normally eat a big amount of rice haha). I would never forget that.
But of course, sometimes, he would make my friends and I angry by doing some ridiculous ones. But at least, I chose to understand that perhaps handling a hostel isn't as easy as cutting cakes (Hey cutting cakes requires some skills also kay). And to even, forgive, as I have been forgiven.
Friends in hostel - For this I am thankful too. Throughout the year, some incidents have occurred and I really can't decline the truth that friendships between one another could change. Friendships have the potential to be enhanced, be neutralized, turn sour, turn bitter and vanish. But I always believe that if Abba wants me to have a really blessed life (In which He does), He will guide my way out of these troubles and He will be the one sustaining my friendships with others. If some friendships truly don't work out, there's no point for me to beg the opposite party for reconciliation. After all, it doesn't seem as precious as before to me.
At some points of the year I have been wondering why don't I have more Trinity friends like others. Like, I had this thought that I should go socialize more and befriend more people. Well, I didn't practically carry out this plan. But yeah, somehow by God's grace (Yes I love giving God glory, hee), I have a bunch of close girl friends who don't live in my hostel (Mission accomplished, effortlessly yesssss). And of course, I still love my hostel friends or if you like it to be called 'Pika Pika' or whatsoever. My love for everyone has never changed, maybe it has been shaken but still, it prevails. Believe it or not.
Trust. This is an essential element in a friendship.
And I have really really learnt not to live for others, please others and etc gradually (Praise the Lord). I guess this is an important life lesson to be because I don't wanna be dragged by others or be anyone's shadow but to be me myself, and reflect God's very own light. If at the end of the day, the particular person is still pissed off with my words, let it be, I shall not take action because I am stating whatever I feel like saying and whatever I think it's right. Kay, of course, Lord I needa learn humility also T.T
Anyway, these two boys I have been hanging out with are nice. Despite the reality that they swear like how they breath, but they are not calculative at all and... they are... entertaining? Ha ha. And most vitally, they have got a guitar yhayyyie so basically I am still playing piano and guitar even though I am not at home ;)
(Shit I haven't even talked about Trinity o.o)
Regarding my thought-so-homesickness, it isn't as worse as imagined. Although the fact that my brother is here, but we don't see each other very often. I was utterly upset over this matter in the past few months and was asking God why am I having circumstances like this while others don't. Yet, I soon found out that my purpose being here is not nothing, but something that worths more than anything. God is really good, He brings forth restoration, He sustains our kinship, and apparently things are getting better on our side :) For this I would like to express my gratitude too. I was once crippled by fear of being asked 'Why you never go find your bro?' or similar questions like this. At one point of the year I was puzzled, had no one to plead to except Abba. And haha, Abba listened to me crying like a baby at nights (In which I didn't really expose much to anyone except a few). I didn't utter a word to anyone back home I guess (And haha, except one and of course, my parents knew everything) And some of you might think this is not a big deal. But hey, you don't know me, I really really love and treasure my family. They mean a lot to me.
Anyway, after all the trials, storms or whatever, I would proclaim God's faithfulness that prevails. Restoration came forth, things just got better and I sought comfort from the One who suffered for me on the cross. And eventually, I perceive that I gotta be more considerate as my brother is really a busy bee and learn not to overburden someone. I thanked God for that period of time, which made me a grown up girl. Now I would conclude that at that time, I was nearly engulfed by the devil's speakings. But hallelujah, once I have identified my stand in Christ, victory has become mine (It has always been though). Words cannot express how 'independence' this word means to me now. I'm trained or rather to say, moulded to be a more independent person. And yet, I love my brother. The elder one. He treats me well actually :p Should not be greedy anymore.
Back to the original topic - Trinity College. My first impression of it was...
Oh gosh, most people come here study because they have money, not because of their intelligence. Sooner or later, something has proven that my judgement was wrong! There are freaking smart students (Gosh, they are just here to get an access to Melb Uni) and poor people (Not poor until don't have clothes to put on for sure) here. One thing I dislike about this college is that (Personal opinion haha)... it is filled with a vast of people who smoke *please feel my exasperation*. Oh yeah, and another thing, it is polluted by people who think 'they are cool, but they are just a fool, lousier than a shoe, and they shall just shoo, get back to their respective primary school' a semi condescending line I learnt from those two kids. Funny? So what if you go clubbing, so what if you wear tight skirt everyday and so what if you speak with smokes coming out from your smelly mouth? (Too much personal emotions here, I should apologize) And no offense of course, this part is not directed to anyone so please don't 对号入座, unless you are that 'one kind'.
Having said that, our college still has some awesome stuffs. Examples will be given then. Evan Burge is one of my favourite vintage buildings in the uni campus. The green field at Bulpadock is totally loved man! ;) The microwaves placed everywhere in college buildings did bring convenience to my life man! ;) And and and, needless to say, the extraordinary literature tutor of mine is just so extraordinary... Hahaha, and the super gracious markings of my teachers - for this I really gotta show my thankfulness to Abba since I did pray to get into EAP 2 instead of EAP 3 (Cause I listened to my bro's advice). And I really did. EAP has been a light subject to me. I loved my EAP mates (Especially those two Indonesians, one Chinese, one Hongki, and one Thai). My drama class! (How interesting it is that we Trinity students must attend drama classes and know how to put on poker face (Haha joking)! My class should be one of the classes which had more than three drama teachers teach us ;) That was a real blessing, to have experienced various drama skills. I love my current drama mates ;) Had loads of fun discussing stuffs with them ;) It's fun to have friends of different nationalities. Listening to their culture has always been an exciting thing. Ah, and the use of iPad during classes has been so productive (Normally I would just use it to download shows from PPS or read my Giddens novels but yeah...) somehow it does assist us academically ;) And taking photos of tutors or good-looking students has been a pleasurable in-class-activity :p And have I mentioned that I love the elective subjects that I have chosen? I love them because haha they have been giving me rest ;) and glorious results. I am sure that there are so many more good points of Trinity. Thank You Jesus for Trinity, still ;)
Haha, from now onwards, no questions such as 'What class are you having now?' or 'Where are you going now?' will be asked, to me, it's like being set free by some bondage, some neutral bondage anyway. Yhayyyieeeeee.
I am astonished at my own determination to have written such a wordy post. If you are here and you read until here like totally didn't get lost in this word maze, I would like to give you a friendly flying hug *Respond to it please*.
The satisfaction of writing a lengthy post that really speaks out some (Not all still) of my thoughts is indescribable. It feels far more satisfying than posting a blogpost loaded with thousand photos yet couldn't squeeze out my underlying feelings. I was once a stubborn kid, always grumbled about being forced to be studying overseas, now as I reminisced my past, I think I have been so silly, since Daddy God and earthly daddy desire to let me lead a blessed life, I should just let them do so. Since Daddy God has a purpose for me to be here, by His grace, His will will be done here in Melbourne. Greater things are yet to come ^^Y Now I can do a proclamation that I heart Melbourne openly. No regrets. Thank you Abba for everything ;)
And Trinity, I kiss you goodbye :-*
